How to deal with that huge knot in your chest right now
Words: Sarah Tarca // @tarca
Image: Kinga Cichewicz // Unsplash
Lately I’ve been having trouble breathing. Sometimes I get to around 4pm and exhale, feeling a slightly euphoric, liberating release knowing that the days is almost over. And that’s when I also realise I’ve been holding onto my breath since I woke up. I don’t usually suffer from anxiety, and I do a lot of things to help nurture my mental health (daily yoga, walking, journalling, long baths, hot chips and wine) but even the most resilient of us are feeling it right now.
Because, well the Universe is asking a lot of us. It’s there saying “I got this, trust in the plan” but continues to push us to limits, seemingly without said plan. By nature we’re not designed to chill with the unknown, and we’re also not amazing with big change. So faced with these huge, life-altering changes (work upheaval, kids at home, locked inside our houses) with no end date, it’s hard to just surrender and trust it, no matter how much meditation you IV into your soul.
Knowing that I was by no means the only one deep inside my head right now, I decided to pour my questions, my fears and my worries out to someone who could help: Counselling Psychotherapist and Clinical Hypnotherapist Dr Karen Phillip, who explained why we’re feeling the way we are – and how to deal with it all. I hope what she had to say helps you as much as it did me.
What’s your take on the Covid-19 mass panic that’s happening?
We fear the unknown. Fear is an unconscious response from the misuse of our imagination that is not real. Worry is the future projection of something bad occurring that is unlikely to happen. The uncertainty of how the coronavirus will affect you, your children and your community, adds to the degree of anxiety. But, we can also use anxiety to help focus on what is important. A degree of anxiety can help ensure you take correct preventative steps; it does not necessarily debilitate you.
Why and how does that collective panic impact the individual?
The human mind naturally gravitates to the negative. Research has shown that this negativity bias means that we feel and focus on the negative more powerfully than we feel happiness or positive. This is referred to as positive-negative asymmetry.
Many of us are feeling a combination of fear, sadness, anger and helplessness thereby concentrating on these emotions more than any positive emotions. Avoiding situations that cause you distress can help. Focus on what you can control such as social distancing, avoiding crowds, hand washing, and sanitising surfaces to help give you a sense of control and adjust your minds focus to more positive.
“Research has shown that this negativity bias means that we feel and focus on the negative more powerfully than we feel happiness or positive.”
How do you think the media, and social media are contributing to this panicked mindset?
The news keeps us informed but also presents dramatic events which can escalate our concerns and fear. Social media is inundated with messages and stories, meaning it is difficult to escape what is occurring. Restricting use of media and social media may help at this time.
If you already suffer from anxiety are you at greater risk during times like this?
Those who suffer anxiety may find they have an escalation during this challenging time. Others will transfer their anxious feelings onto the coronavirus and their anxiety will remain at a similar level. Those who do not normally suffer anxiety may experience a rise due to fear and uncertainty. Those of us who do not suffer anxiety can still feel anxious at times, it is a matter of balancing the positive and negative issues.
how do you stay safely informed during this time, without adding to the anxious feeling?
Watching or listening to the headlines of the news once or twice a day is enough. Keeping informed by reading government and medical websites once a day is plenty, to help prevent an overload. Avoiding social media at this time may help allay overwhelm from the inundation of stories and information.
it’s easy to feel disappointed in humanity at the moment, especially watching people act so selfishly and “for themselves”. How do we deal with those feelings?
Some people have acted poorly and much of this was due to fear and uncertainty. The majority of people continue to act kindly and responsibly. Unfortunately, the news and social media focuses on those negative incidents without reporting on the many and varied positive acts of kindness and consideration. When we are concerned and fearful these feelings often go inward, and we focus on our self and our situation. While it is disappointing that some people act in a ‘Me or I’ manner, most of us are responding in a ‘We and Us’ approach and this is easier once we understand what is actually occurring. Supporting local businesses can make us feel we are doing something positive.
Five tips for dealing with COVID-19 related anxiety
Keep your body healthy: A strong healthy mind equates to a strong healthy positive body.
Focus on what you can do: You don’t have control over what’s happening right now, but you do have control over how you react to it. Concentrate on doing things differently as this is what we have all been forced to do and pour your energy into what’s in your control: social distancing, avoiding crowds, hand washing, and sanitising surfaces.
Get busy: Clean out the shed, cupboards and wardrobe, paint that room or the house, cook or bake those receipes you have always wanted to (or try one of these awesome free isolation resources). When we are focused and busy, anxiety is lessened.
Support local businesses: This is something we can control and will give you a feeling of contributing to the greater good, which helps with the feelings of helplessness.
Restrict your social media news: Yes, it can be a good way to feel connected but it’s also a warren of fear and anxiety triggers if you’re already feeling vulnerable. Be selective with where you get your information from, and make sure it’s trusted resources like the Government site or WhatsApp group.