I went to a face gym. Here's what happened.
Words: Sarah Tarca // @tarca
The setup + someone who cannot take a mirror selfie
Having spent a good chunk of my career as a beauty editor, I’m no stranger to a facial treatment. There’s little I would say no to if it promised me glow, or the skin of a small child. But, of course, most of these treatments were complimentary, so now when I actually actively seek out beauty (and pay for) beauty treatments, they have to be pretty damn special – or pretty intriguing – or both. That was the case with Face Gym.
The first thing you learn about Face Gym is that it’s not a facial – it’s a workout for your face. A luxe lie-down with Deep Forest playing it is not. Instead the “trainers” knead your face in complex ways for 45 minutes to tighten and tone your facial muscles. It’s like gua sha on steroids. Of course facial massage is not new, Asian cultures have been doing it for centuries, but this was a shiny new take on it… and I was intrigued.
I happened to be in London (incidentally the home of Face Gym) so I booked myself in for the “Signature Sculpt” (£75) which promised to be a supercharged facial manipulation, combining all the kneading and massage with a micro current tool to help tone and sculpt. Yep, I was ALL. IN. Here’s what happened when I got my very first facial workout.
Coal Yards Face Gym, London. Image// instagram.com
The vibe
So the first thing is the most obvious: this ain’t no day spa. The whole layout of the place is kinda like a hybrid between a gym and a barber shop. There’s a bar with some buff dude behind it, kind of like an actual gym. This is where I’m placed to fill out an iPad full of questions about my stresses, expectations and what I use on my – which frankly could take me the entire allocated facial time.
I’m then guided to where the magic happens… a reclining hairdresser-style chair (see my flattering shot above) surrounded by lots of metal and fluoro lighting.
There’s no glamour, in fact it’s almost anti-glamour. This is a workout, after all. As if to prove that point, my trainer, Regina pops a sweatband on my head shows me the “tools” she’s about to use, and we’re good to go.
Phase one: where they smushed my face with a ball
Ever wondered what it feels like to roll an oversized stress ball over your face? Nah, me neither. But this was the beginning of my workout and I have to say, I was totally there for it. “Faceballing” is the technical term for what Regina was doing, and acutally it was like a little relaxing intro – or rather a warmup – for what was to come.
Phase two: Where my face becomes Play Doh
Next up, all my makeup is removed some serum is sloshes on, and the intense kneading begins. And I mean, intense. I’m the type of person who goes in for the deep tissue massages and asks for “firm” so I’m down, even when my eyes start watering… but! it’s still unlike anything I’ve experienced before. There’s a lot of complicated finger movements, a mixture of flicking and pulling, kneading and massaging, which all, evidently will release toxins, and wake up some of the 40-plus generally dormant muscles in my face.
phase three: all the tools
Next up is a Gua Sha (which you all now know about), followed by a fancy-ass gold, blingy derma roller to improve product absorption and circulation. But this is really only basic cardio because we haven’t even got to the part which I paid good money for: the electrical.
Phase four: Where I voluntarily enjoyed 10 minutes of facial spasm
Rolling with the obvious analogy here, this is the weights component of the workout – or as Face Gym says – ‘“powerplate for your face”. The part where toning and sculpting happens, and you actually see definition. As intrigued by micro and nano current devices as I am, I haven’t actually used one before, which is why i signed up for this. The promise is that they send little currents into those lazy muscle fibres that have lost their elasticity (because, age) to strengthen, lift, tone and tighten.
I don’t know what I expected (pain maybe?) but this was a truly wack experience. The handheld device rolls over your face, and your muscles literally spasm each time it does. You can’t feel anything except the gentle pressure of the roller, but your face is just getting jiggy with it, like you have an uncontrollable twitch. It’s not unpleasant, but it’s defintely not something I could feel myself getting used to.
Regina paused at the half-face point and handed me a mirror. I think there may have been an audible gasp. Because there, right before my eyes I was seeing something I have never seen before: cheekbones. Remember what I said before about not getting used to the whole spasm thing? Well, call me a liar friends because this was worth the weirdness.
The rest of my 45 minutes passed in blur. There was a mask-type thing applied from what looked to be a deodorant stick, probably some more kneading, and a lot of me admiring my new face. It was definitely one of the more intriguing ways I have dropped $100. But would I do it again?
THE VERDICT
Yes. Yes I would do it again.
With beauty editors, the best question you could ask them is what they actually buy themselves. As in, with their own money - and not gifted. That is the mark of a truly great product or service… and that’s how I felt about Face Gym.
The results lasted around a week (partly due to my horrific TMJ), so it’s definitely something you’d need to upkeep if you want those cheekbones. That said, obviously I can’t afford this on the regular (nor the fortnightly trips to London), but it did inspire me to get reacquainted with my gua sha tool and my jade roller and actually stick to a plan where I use them (nightly, in bed while I’m watching Netflix). Which to be honest, it my kind of workout anyway.
My finished face! Freshness by Face Gym, tired Mum eyes: model’s own
Face Gym is not currently in Oz, but you can book in both London and New York.